Comedy of Errors

It was surely a Monday.
Lets just say that it was a day that I should've just stayed in bed.

After a few things that happened throughout the day (which in light of the other circumstances weren't as funny or mentionable) I realized I needed 4 things form Walmart to complete our menu for the week.

I picked up Isaac who was in true 'little boy form'. His hair was matted with sweat and his socks looked a little funny riding so high above his shoes. He had bruises and scrapes on his legs from playing so hard and from being so clutsey (from his momma =). He also had two manly pink ladybug stamps on each hand from being so good at school--He then rubbed his eyelid with the back of his hand and no matter how i wiped it, couldn't for some reason remove the now, pink eyeshadow my son was dawning on his right eye. To top it all off, he was covered in Cheeto remains. Oh yeah. We're gonna fit right in at Wallyworld...

Getting out Isaac informs me his cup is empty and I told him we will be home really soon and to wait (even though I know how hard he plays and that he couldve truly used some water/juice) He also started to wimper & said that he is poopy and after a quick check, realized its worse. He's got a bad rash (and did I have cream for it??? NO) from eating pizza the night before (wicked red sauce!). Okay, lets make this quick.

We walk in thru the garden center and there are no carts. Passing by the fish, my little boy suddenly realizes he wants one (and who could blame him?). Trying to be a good mommy, we look and talk and wave to these fish, half of which are belly up. Son, i know you don't understand but we can't buy these half dead fish. Moving on- After 20 mins of searching everywhere, I couldn't find one of the items I was looking for and later once home, realized I completely forgot about the bag of frozen chicken that was ON MY LIST.
Note: Isaac wanted to sit in the back of the cart- which was fine b/c the front of ours was, of course, broken but everytime I start to walk again being in a hurry and the buggy moves, my son not paying attention falls forward or backward from a sitting position? and shouts "Whoa Mommy!" 
At this point I feel like we look more like a circus act and are starting to stand out even in Walmart.
He needed Johnson's baby wash (ironically) and I picked up a bottle and being a smart mother, double checked to make sure it had a seal. From the baby dept to the chip isle, i look down hearing spitting noises. Then i smell shampoo. I said, "Isaac what is in your mouth?" Soap, he replied. As soon as I realized he unscrewed the top and bit open the sealed lid, I slipped, almost taking myself out on the shampoo that had dripped from our cart to the floor. Cleanup on Isle 3.

This is no longer safe for us to be in public. Quickest route home avoiding downtown traffic was the 429 bypass and so what if I had to pay tolls? I am getting us home.

Feeling free and driving with no traffic at hwy speeds we are a mile from 441 (5 mins until our street!) and I see on the horizon deadlocked traffic, cars not moving anywhere. No where to pull off until the end of this road. Why are we stopped?! Turns out at the intersection, a semi carrying sod overturned and sod was everywhere. (my desperate thought is now, so what? I've got a jeep get out of my way!) But we waited. And waited, The only forward movement was from closing the gaps when cars decided to make a U-turn thru the grass median and go back. This upset a HUGE nest of bees that nest underground and they started to swarm! They were hitting the windows and were ticked to be disturbed. They were swarming the front of our engine. Knowing that a mouse somehow at one point crawled into our air vent, I began to conclude that these wasps could as well come in the vents too! I closed them off and prayed to move! Isaac said, "Mommy look at those bugs!"  Yes dear, I see them. The baby managed to wedge herself into a bad spot and I couldn't get her off my bladder! It hurts! We all had to funnel into one lane and wait for the traffic light. 20 mins later, we were home.

I paid the county $1 in tolls to tack on an additional 30 mins to my commute. Sometimes you just gotta laugh!

Did I mention I have a dentist appointment today?